Arriving in the US of A

So, arriving. The first thing to note is that if you arrive at the same time as lots of other flights there will be a loooong queue in immigration and it will take a loooong time. And its very hot in there so be prepared.

Once through you must rush outside as fast as you can to get towards the front of the taxi queue. The yellow taxi queue!
It moves very quickly unless you happen to have to so much luggage that you need to wait for one of the bigger vehicles!!
And its a flat $45 rate into the city, so do your best to sit back and enjoy the view in what is probably the least comfortable car you'll ever sit in. With some crazy driving thrown in for fun.
And dont forget to tip. Its all about the tips over here.
If you are fancy you can book a limo instead, which is just what they call nice taxis, either in advance or from a free phone in the airport. They are twice the price but are all big Lincoln's with blacked out windows that make you feel like a movie star.
And if you are really lucky all the traffic will be stopped on the freeway and you will have to take the local roads, because the Pope is going past and apparently needs the entire police force of America to escort him.

Most likely you'll arrive at night from the UK, so you will get to look out over that famous skyline and see all the skyscrapers as you drive into town, its pretty cool.

And then, if you are visiting us at least, you will have to go through yet another police check with sniffer dogs at our building because the whole area is closed to traffic and heavily guarded.
I tried to tell them I dont need that much protection but what can you do?!?!
Or I suppose it could be because of the Stock Exchange or something. Whatever.
Anyway, they will sniffer your cab and then you will be greeted by one of our lovely doormen, walk past the third largest chandelier in the world, and get to our lifts.
In this building there are express lifts for people going to the top floors, so once again, FANCY!
There is also a lovely waiting room by the lifts, which is entirely gold. I am not joking. I cant even begin to imagine what they were thinking, but I can only hope there were drugs invovled in the decision.

And then you get to our always hot despite there being no heating on and the windows being open flat and take off lots of clothes.

And go to sleep in our fancy spare room. Which currently only has a blow up bed, but soon will have a proper Murphy bed, which folds away into the wardrobe!

So you see, you really should come and visit.