Driving in the USA

I have been driving quite a few times since I got here!
So brave! So adventurous! So easy!

Clearly I’ve only done it in Stamford, I’d have to be crazy to drive in NYC.

And the roads out there are pretty quiet and very wide. Two cars wide each way.
And since cars over here are all automatic its been pretty easy.

But best of all is Debbie Directions, who takes care of me, and finds me no matter how far wrong I go.

Like the time I ended up in some harbour/ park…instead of the bank.

Denial

The scales said a number.
I decided they must be broken.
I tried to think of many ingenious ways to prove they were broken.
I blamed it on the fact that we are on the 31st floor.

Finally I weighed myself on someone else’s scales.
Someone else’s accurate scales.

Would you believe that little bastard of mine have been telling the truth???
How have I let this happen?

Damn you American fast food.

Birds in da house

I arrived at Charlie and Laura's house this morning (they are in the UK) and as I opened the front door I heard a definite noise.
Of someone moving around.
So I loudly yelled hello, and there followed a noise like glass breaking.

Needless to say I backed out of the house and called Simon.
Who sensibly pointed out that he was a bit far away to help in person, but sternly made me promise I wouldnt go back in the house. No fear there.

So I rang Laura's dad, who stayed on the phone while I walked around the outside of the house looking for burlgars/broken windows/axe murderers.
There were none.

So I bravely went back to the front door, and opened it again and really shouted a hello.
"Hellooooo!" So polite, even to criminals!

But there was silence so I went in (dont worry Lenny was still on the phone, just around the corner) and found the intruders.

Two birds!

The glass noise had been them flying around the shell chandelier in the family room, which sounds exactly like glass breaking!

Then of course there was the issue of how they got in, but it turns out they have done this before, through the chimney.

And finally I was left with cleaning up the remaining evidence of their visit, of which there was a lot, all over the place. They must have been in here all night!

I am now going to have a lie down to recover from the excitement.

Stick em up

As some of you may know I am a big fan of US cop shows, CSI and stuff like that.
What I am not so keen on is seeing the police over here in action first hand.

I was on the train, happily reading my book, with just one other guy sitting on the same bank of five chairs.
By the kind of bad luck that I hoped wouldn’t follow me here, the two wasted idiots who had been screaming and shouting on the platform for the last ten minutes got on and sat on the bank of four chairs across the aisle from us.
They were completely off their heads, but also, fairly harmless. I mean the guy was built like a brick shit house, but he just kept telling the woman to sit down and be quiet until they got to NYC, so they were really not bothering me and I went back to reading my book.

Unfortunately when the conductor came along for tickets (which by the way they do most efficiently on all trains and should be used an example to conductors in the UK) they didn’t have any.
The guy got up and was swaying around giving his cock’n’bull story about how they did have them but they lost them blah blah blah.
Anyway, they really weren’t doing any harm, the only thing was he kept swearing and people don’t really seem to swear that much over her.
I barely even noticed, and could probably have taught him some far better words and phrases, but the conductor was deeply concerned that he was offending people with his blue language.
Anyway, he headed off down the train and I assumed that was the end of that.

Five minutes later he came back with two cops.
I don’t know if cops ride on all trains or if they just happened to be there, but it was a pretty good trick. Despite really being totally unnecessary.
Anyway, it all started off very calmly with the guy saying they’d be good, and the cops saying ok if you’re good there wont be any problems.
But the dude was drunk, so he was a bit loud, and still swearing, and couldn’t really stop when the cops told him to.
So it got a bit more heated. And then the guy sitting opposite me actually picked up my bags and made me move up the carriage, which I thought was overkill but it turned out it wasn’t.
Things quickly escalated, and I still had a totally clear view of them and could hear everything and I really cant believe they did.
I cant help feeling that if this had been in England these guys would have been told not to do it again, and then left alone. Because really, why would you antagonize people who are wasted, but not doing any harm?
I will never, ever do anything wrong in this country. As far as I can see there is a strong desire to do some “serious” policing which is only ever going to lead to problems.

Anyway, long story short, it reached the point where they had cuffed this woman, a fairly little woman who was so out of it she couldn’t really stand up, and they just said it was for her own protection.
But this understandably upset the guy, and I was fairly close to sticking my nose in at this point because it was so unnecessary.
So then the policemen decided that they wanted to cuff the guy too, and he just sat there asking them why.
Which they amazingly interpreted as him resisting arrest.
So they started hitting him with their batons. And I mean hitting. He was big and drunk enough not to really notice at the time, but he must have been black and blue the next morning.
So the hitting and the shouting continued, with the cops very carefully and loudly shouting “stop resisting sir, stop resisting” so that all the witnesses could say he was resisting arrest.
No joke, I could have got cuffs on him without any of this nonsense.
But they weren’t really trying to cuff him, they were waiting for him to follow orders, put his hands behind him, turn round, and wait to be cuffed. I cant understand why they didn’t just reach round, take hold of his arms and cuff him anyway. But they didn’t even try that.

And then they told everyone to evacuate the whole carriage, and maced him.
Bear in mind that this guy is still just sitting in his seat on the train at this point, asking why he is being arrested.
So they sprayed a whole can of mace on him, hit him a bit more and then cuffed him. And then we stopped at the next station and a whole van load of cops came on and dragged them off, with enough force to make you think it was a bank robbery, not a bit of drunk and disorderly.

The most telling thing was when we were all going through into the next carriage and someone said should we do something and one guy said “I aint going in there, I’m a black man, what do you think they’d do to me?!”. Quite right too, I’m a small white girl but to be honest I don’t think that would have saved me either.

Century 21

Century 21

So I finally went to Century 21, which is meant to be the most famous designer discount store in the states.
I wasn’t really sure what to expect, but retail has become so much about the shop and layout and whole experience in recent years that I thought it would be nice.

But it was carnage in there.

Everything is all jumbled together and its so cramped and disorganized and messy I couldn’t really be bothered to look properly.

I did find a couple of things to try on and discovered that the changing rooms were even worse.
They had carpet in them which smelt of wee so I didn’t want to let anything of mine touch the floor!

I ended up buying a dress and a t-shirt which were only $20 each, so that was a bargain, but I’m not sure I’ll go back.

Maybe if you wanted a designer dress for a special occasion it would be worth going there and searching through everything, but for everyday stuff I’ll just stick to Hennes.

Preppy

I don’t know what it is about Gap over here, but I love it.

I hardly owned anything from Gap before, I might find one thing I liked every now and again, but now each time I go in there I leave with half the shop.

One reason might be that they actually do clothes for short people, so I don’t have to get stuff shortened.

Or maybe I’m just being Americanised!!

Food glorious food

On Saturday night Simon and I went to Maze at the London Hotel.
I have wanted to go there since last year when he went and came back with tales of how yummy it was, and that the 6 course tasting menu is just $75, which is less than £40!
Unsurprisingly the place was full of Brits who obviously cant afford to eat in a Gordon Ramsey restaurant in the UK, but find that with the great exchange rate they can here.

Anyway, it was obviously really good value, and all the food was amazing.
Unfortunately we tripled our bill by adding booze to it, but that couldn’t be helped.

I had:
Beetroot with ricotta
Aubergine carpaccio with figs
Lobster risotto
Steak with morel mushrooms
Apple and cinnamon trifle
Peanut butter and jelly sandwich

Actually, that’s not true, I hate peanut butter so Simon ate mine, which means he had three puddings and I only had one, which makes him a fatty and me brilliant.
Although he says he only ate mine so the chef wouldn’t be offended!

It was all really yummy, but far and away the best bit was the apple trifle.
It was apple jelly, with cinnamon cream, crème anglais and frozen cider shavings.
Oh yes, and a little doughnut with apple and cinnamon puree in the middle.
D.licious.

Friday night fun

The mighty Mezzle came to visit again on Friday, and I think we proved that we are still pretty damn rock’n’roll.

We had tickets to see SATC. Because, yes, we wanted to see it.
And mostly I wanted to see it with a friend.
Otherwise I was afraid all the love and friendship would make me homesick.
And I wasn’t expecting anything Oscar worthy, or life changing, just some laughs, some love and some good shoes.

Anyway, we were wearing our pretty heels, and sitting outside a pub having some beer and nachos before going in, when a drunk guy asked to put his beer on our table while he had a fag.
One thing led to another and he ended up giving us three free tickets to a Fratellis concert that was just about to start up the street.
I know, weird huh?
And he didn’t even seem to want anything in return, as he left to go in before we had finished eating.

Anyhoo, we got a refund on our cinema tickets and headed to the gig in what was now deeply inappropriate footwear.
We drank more beer, did a bit of singing and a bit of bopping and had a great time.

And then, in some kharmic reward for our shoe wearing, the gig was over by 11 (they don’t have many songs!) and we passed the cinema on the way to get a cab home just as the last showing of the movie was about to start!
So we went anyway!

If that isn’t living life right on the edge then I just don’t know what is.

Blast from the past

There is another thunderstorm raging outside, and we have a few hours to kill before dinner so I flicked on the TV.
Baywatch is on!
And its as bad as it ever was, so I'm watching it.

Spots

Last night we spotted our first celebrity since we have both lived here.

Our actual first NYC celeb spot happened in December, when I was visiting Simon.
That was Tom Hanks. We sat at the table next to him in Balthazar, and it was really very exciting.

But our first “living in the city” one is also very good, it was Julianne Moore!
With her husband and kids, running down the street in the West Village.

She was VERY thin, but also very pretty.

Friends!

Our very good friends Andy and Vicky moved out here last weekend and it is so exciting to have people around who know us and know about us and we don’t have to expend any energy at all explaining things or going back over the past. Hurray!

So we went to visit them on Saturday and had a great time.
They are living in a crazy 70’s style apartment out in the suburbs where they have lots of space and a huge garden.

We drove around the town and found the public beach, which is fine but is basically just off a huge car park and no doubt gets very busy.

Then we went for lunch at a really nice place called the Mill Pond which looks out over a beautiful lake. However the 32 degree heat and lack of any breeze made it slightly hard to enjoy the sun and we had to move back into the shade pretty quickly.
Lots of beer helped cool us down, before we went into town to go to the supermarket and somehow Vicky and I ended up getting spray tans!

I can blame this on the beer, but she was our designated driver so has absolutely no excuse. We looked utterly ridiculous when we came out, dripping with sweat and brown gunk, and then found out we couldn’t shower for 4 hours which meant we had to move our dinner reservation from 8.30 to 10pm!

We went back to a bar to meet the boys and cool down again, it really was a question of whizzing from one airconditioned space to another, and then headed to the supermarket for snacks. Which is also a silly thing to do under the influence and we bought a huge box of cookies and another of cupcakes and some bag clips which were apparently very exciting and I got a Princess necklace that lights up!

Back at home we sat on their lovely porch enjoying the wildlife, a little frog even fell out of a tree.

A shower sadly did little to improve the tan, I have insanely orange hands and feet and a weird brown patch on one elbow. But this was my first time so I was unprepared, next time we’ll do better.
Obviously there will be a next time, as it only cost £18 so who cares?!

We went to Honu for dinner, and the food was excellent, but we hadn’t realized it was all sharing platters so all came as and when it was ready. It was also great value, $200 for four of us to eat and have 2 bottles of wine, and at the end they gave us warm cookies!
Finally got to bed at about 1.30, hoping for a good lie in.

Sadly, blinds were not included in A & V’s rental agreement, so by 8.30 we were all up and about because of the blazing sunshine.
After breakfast we headed out to the nature reserve for a walk, it was really beautiful and rugged, with one huge brackish pond in the middle of the forest.
At the end there was also a beach, but it too was of the rugged variety rather than the sunbathing variety.
It was a bit too hot for walking about really, but we saw lots of little chipmonks who were so cute they made up for it.

Then we hopped over to the public beach to get an icecream and on the way found the residents only beach! A & V just have to pay $30 to join for the year and its lovely.
There is a huge picnic lawn, barbeques, tables and benches, tennis courts, playground, loo, shower, changing room and of course…beach. A lovely large sandy beach.

Heaven. We’ll be back soon!

Storms

Today was an absolute scorcher, I think it was 34 degrees, and tomorrow its going to be 37 degrees.
It gets incredibly humid in NYC, like there is no air moving anywhere, and it feels so close and sticky, its really uncomfortable.

And that leads to ... thunderstorms.

There is currently an amazing storm raging, and it looks like its right outside my window.
There isnt any rain yet, sadly, as that would cool things down, but there is lighting flickering across the sky every couple of seconds that is so bright and so close!
And it literally seems to be going from the Hudson River to the East River, lighting up my whole view like its daytime.

There is some thunder, though not enough it seems to me, which echoes and rumbles round the buildings in the city which makes it even louder.

Its very cool, but it cut out my cable half way through Girls Next Door!!

Guilty pleasures

I have discovered the perfect substitute for when I am missing my girl friends in England – the Girls Next Door.
This is a reality show about Hugh Heffner’s three live-in girlfriends Holly, Bridget and Kendra, and against all reason I LOVE it.

On paper its ridiculous.
An 80 year old man lives with three playboy bunnies who are all his girlfriends.
But in reality it is brilliant.

My absolutele favourite person is Bridget.
She is so sweet and so nice and so naïve and so unbearably lovely I just want to put her in my pocket and carry her around with me everywhere I go.

Usually, extreme niceness really annoys me, but Bridget goes beyond that to a level of niceness even I cant resist.
I want to be invited to the Playboy Mansion so I can hang out with her and bask in her sugary sweetness until I feel sick.

But I’m not sure all my vital statistics measure up!

Accessories

I had noticed that everyone in our building either had a dog, or a baby or both.
But after spending time in Central Park I realized that’s not just our building, its the whole city.

That is something that is really different to London. Even if they don’t go further than Richmond, people tend to move out of central London when they have kids, often right out to the country, in order to get more space and a garden, don’t they?

But New Yorkers don’t seem to consider that necessary and as well as kids are perfectly happy to have enormous dogs living in their apartments.

Its really hard to understand, especially with the dogs. I mean the babies have nappies, but what do you do when your puppy urgently needs a pee and you live on the 35th floor?!?!

Hot stuff

I am currently wearing nothing but a long t-shirt and pants, as Simon and I cook our supper.

This is not only as a treat to all those builders working overtime in the block opposite us, but because it is hot.

H.O.T.

I am usually very keen on summertime and warm weather and I am a proper little sun worshiper, but this is just ridiculous. Its so hot we keep getting crazy thunderstorms, its really humid and the heat is the oppressive kind that can produce a semi-permanent headache.

I dont wish to complain, but please can we just have a little bit more air with out heat?!